Chapter 70
We Need Boyfriends!

So today I was talking to Poof Daddy at work. He was working in a different department today and I was complaining to him about that because no cool people were working late with me (well a few of them were but Puppy Love was working and I really don’t like working with him). So I tell him that Puppy Love has been annoying me because he hugs me too much and Poof Daddy says, “Because he has a crush on you.” I was thrown off a little and said, “Did he tell you that or did you just assume that?” and he says, “He told me,” and then he seemed a little surprised and asked, “has he told you?” I told him that he had but I didn’t think that he would tell anyone, so then Poof Daddy says that pretty much all the courtesy clerks know that Puppy Love likes me! Oh my gosh…I’ve been peed on! The question is how many people know? It ticks me off just a little bit. Why would anyone tell all those people that they like someone after that certain someone has told them that they were not interested? Seriously. I tell Poof Daddy that Puppy Love is down right Stalker-ish. He then says, “yeah that happened to me with this girl over in Southside,” and I interrupted him and, “Gosh, I said I was sorry, just let it go man.” I let Poof finish his story and then tell him that I need to just pretend that I have a boyfriend and then he says that is what the guys who work up front have to do. He said, “Yeah we all have to say that we have boyfriends so that this one girl will leave us alone.” See, I caught on to his mistake and he didn’t so I said, “boyfriends huh?” He corrected himself pretty quickly and I told him that was good because otherwise some guy might start hitting on him because he heard he was gay. He said that would freak him out and I thought about it and said that if a girl hit on me I would be weirded out too. Then he says that my friend always hits on me, she’s always smacking my butt (which she has never done to me) and I told him that she was just doing a “good game” and guys do it to each other all the time, to which he asked if coming to work was a sporting event. Sometimes it is.
So today one of the trainers came into work and aside from being extremely cute he gets to wear a black polo shirt instead of the blue ones we were. So I tell my manager that I want a black shirt. He was really confused for a while until I explained that the trainer guy got to have one. He told me I had to be a trainer to get one of those. So later he comes near my register and it was really slow so I start talking to him and I say, “I probably wouldn’t be good at training,” alluding to the black shirts again. He told me that he actually thought I would be very good at it and I said, “I know!” He started to laugh and said something about my ego…but really, I don’t know if I’d be a good one or not. I just play that I’ve got self-esteem and self-confidence…I mean, it’s a start.
Just so you know, today I got out of hugs with Puppy Love on account of the weather. It was 100+ with the heat index. I actually thought it felt nice, like warming up on a winter day. But after working in it, and standing in it, I would sweat without much work involved. So Pup kept asking if he was going to give him a hug and I told him ‘no’ it’s too hot. One day I’ll tell the truth, but until then maybe the weather will continue to be almost too hot to breathe. It did rain today though, a nice, sunny rain. Someone said that it had cooled off and maybe it had, it was hard to tell because when I stepped outside it felt like stepping into a bathroom that has a hot shower going on inside.
When I got home I heard a loud thumping every couple of seconds in the kitchen, and one of my other roommate laughing hysterically. I went in to find that the one not laughing was throwing a snowball (the sweet, dessert type thing) against the kitchen wall. She said it was good at relieving stress so I grabbed one and threw it against the wall. One of them said that I had the best arm in the house. I knew that all that cashiering would pay off somehow in my life. We threw them until the package broke open (usually one throw) and then I started to wrap them in plastic baggies and we kept on going. Some of them split their top layers from the chocolate cake thingy on the inside; that was pretty cool.
After we were finished with our stress relief the gossip began. There were two of us in the kitchen and two of them started to whisper to each other and I told them I couldn’t hear them that well they would have to move closer, and one of them warned me that it was drama and they didn’t want to pull me in, I told them that I like drama and if they wouldn’t tell me then I would start to tell them my own. They moved in and I said quietly, “The Inner Circle”. Then I felt the need to explain, a need I feel right now as well. The Inner Circle originated with Sweet Pea and me and a third roommate, we all had a common bond, well actually, I didn’t really have that bond, they didn’t like their room-roommates, I was okay with mine, but somehow they still accepted me. We lost the third roommate but picked up the Antagonizer the next year (kind of a mistake but we needed someone to quickly fill the opening) then a new roommate moved in and she became part of it. This past year we had another girl, but the inner circle didn’t have the same effect as it once had. But I still like to say it like I am about to unleash a completely and totally evil plan of world domination and/or destruction. Back to the story, they broke down and told me of their complaints about Motor mouth (The roommate formerly known as Antag jr.). She got a new phone and they warned me that that would be all she talked about for the next three weeks. I simply said that I figured that, they both gave me a quizzical look and I said, “I’ve lived here for two months, I have observed things. So I knew she was like that when I heard the same story for the fifth time.” They both has been drinking when I said that and I almost lost them to drowning. I like these two roommates and I feel better about the fact that the reason they were so secretive around me was that they didn’t want to corrupt me and make me think too badly of motor mouth, but you see, I already had formed a similar opinion of her, so now maybe things will get better. And Diva (On of the roommates, I’ll call the other Jelly Bean) asked if I was moving out, I told her that my mom has just wanted me to, it didn’t mean that I was. Then Jelly Bean came in and started the blender and I said that I was moving out because Jelly Bean was so loud, then I said, “If Jelly Bean is giving you a headache raise your hand.” But Diva was worried I was moving, which means that part of her must want me here, and being wanted makes you want to stay a little bit.