Chapter 68

The Winds of Change

So I was thinking to myself yesterday that I needed a change in my life. I had no idea that change would come to me! I thought I was going to have to work for it, but instead I got it out of the blue this morning at church. That’s when I decided that I don’t like change, at least the kind that I can’t control anyway. Our ward is gone. I don’t mean that they split, or that we redrew the boundaries, which in a way we did redraw the boundaries but in the process Tuckahoe ward was eliminated. As far back as I can remember I have been going to church as a member of the Tuckahoe ward and now it doesn’t even exist. I think that is what made it the hardest today. If we had split and simply been placed in another ward due to boundary lines I could have handled that, at least the ward would be there! Instead the place I have called my home ward all of my life is gone and I am a permanent visitor, a refugee, a deportee of the Glen Allen ward, the next worst part is that my parents and my sister are in a different ward than me. Sometimes I can’t help but feel that life is spinning out of control. I just added it to one more thing on the list. But then I reminded myself that my life isn’t that bad and I should suck it up. I kept asking for strength and I think that is a step in the right direction. I have to stop assuming that I have to do everything on my own and learn when I need to ask for help. Sure I was still touchy after that, but who wouldn’t be when something that has been a part of their life for all of their life is no longer there? I could help but think what part of my life is not looking at some form of change or major decision? Such as my living arrangements, my job situation, and where I go to church. And of course the big question of the three is where am I going to go to for church? My records are in the Gayton Ward, I live in the Glen Allen ward, and the people in my similar condition are all in the singles ward. Singles ward is out until I get gutters on my house. But once those are in place do I join the league of single people or do I just try to live my life as normal as possible (and people, please don’t try to convince me that attending a singles ward is normal because if you believe that then you are completely delusional).

Then there is my mom who is trying to get me to move. She wants me closer to home but after today and finding out that she had knowledge of this event prior to its taking place I understand why she has been trying to get me to move closer to home, she wants me in the ward boundaries. I’m holding out to see where life takes me.

In the end though, it comes down to the fact that things like this happen all the time. Wards split and consolidate constantly, people cry about the change, but then they acclimate. They build new friendships and either slowly forget old ones or keep them going, either way, no one is crying about it while it’s happening. It’s the thought of change that really seems to bother us, but change itself is the only constant we have. I know I’ll be okay; I just have to stop expecting the worst