Chapter 54
D.D.-ness

So last night my cousins had a bon-fire. At school when people wanted to have a bonfire we went to the sand dunes with tons of wood palettes and let ‘em burn. Everyone went off on natural highs and non-alcoholic drunkenness. We sometimes did stupid things but hey, we were 100% sober. Out in the ‘real world’ a bonfire involves alcohol. I was the official D.D. I had never been one of those before; I should add it to my resume. As I sat there and watched the fire and the five people with me around the fire I couldn’t help but wonder to myself who was the first person who thought getting drunk while playing with a giant bonfire was a good idea? Luckily the most that happened was some really crazy dancing, I’m happy to report that no one fell into the fire and only one marshmallow got hurt. The coolest part was how everyone thought I was funny, of course I’m not sure if I was funny or if all of them were drunk.
Since I was the D.D. in a place that I am completely unfamiliar with everyone kept trying to remind me how to get back to my aunts and uncle’s house. They had told me before the first alcoholic substance was even opened and I had remembered. I kept telling them so, and that I was good at my D.D.-ness. They seemed to really like that new word/concept. After we got back to my aunt and uncle’s it was apparent that my sister’s fiancé was drunk. The first clue, I couldn’t understand a damn thing he was sating. Second clue, he kept saying stuff that probably made sense to him but the rest of us were in the dark. Thirdly, lastly, finally, I think he tried to start a fight with me. Sober he would never have tried because he knows I could beat the crap out of him. He also seems to get needy when he is drunk, but fortunately he doesn’t get so drunk that he is needy with all of us, just my sister. He kept asking her to come sit with him. The worst part was when he decided to eat an egg sandwich. Apparently drunk people don’t know how to close their mouths when they chew. At the time he was eating I was laying on the couch trying to fall asleep and I just rolled over and tuned him out, though not before almost throwing up in my mouth first.
Today we went to the amusement. It wasn’t too bad, besides the point that we got discounted tickets at $13 each. That’s a whole lot better than the amusement park down here. Last time I went to an amusement park I sat around waiting for my group of people to get off a rollercoaster, considering that lines for rollercoaster’s are usually at least a half an hour most of my day was spent looking at my cell phone wondering who I could call and talk to for a while. This time however, I went in line with my group. Oh wait, did I mention that the “puke twins” aren’t identical. I hate rollercoaster’s, she rides most of them, she hates spinning rides, I don’t mind spinning rides. So our cousin told both of us just a few white lies to get us both to come to the park. So with that out of the way back to my story. The very first ride they opted to go on was a rollercoaster and this is when we found out about the white lies. So I stood in line with them for the 45 minute wait and as I crossed through the rollercoaster, leaving my one cousin to ride her first rollercoaster alone, I gave out a little, “whoopee” like it was the greatest ride I had ever ridden. Then I pulled out a camera and took a picture, not too many people get those kinds of Kodak moments. I became the D.B.H., the “designated bag holder”. I’m just a designated kind of person. We went on a spinney ride which I swear was made for children or midgets, it’s a toss up. Needless to say, my legs didn’t fit so I was sitting at an angle, who knew that would make you dizzier when you stood up after the ride?
Then realizing that we were all hungry we went out to the car to grab some grub. It was here when I realized that the pain I was feeling in my arms might actually be sunburn. I look like a lobster. Sunscreen was then applied but it was too late, all this did was to delay the skin cancer another couple of months. The only thing worse is the fact that I was wearing a t-shirt, this means that I have a good ole’ fashion farmer’s tan. Man am I lucky! I kind of feel like I have a three tone arm, down by my wrist is actually tan and it slowly progresses until it is bright red then the county line where I go from sun city to never seen an hour of daylight in it’s life county. It’s just embarrassing.
When we got back to the park I got more adventurous. I had been eyeing and casing a certain rollercoaster, the Iron Dragon, thinking it looked manageable. I asked around my group a little bit about it. Then finally being told that it was “smooth” and “actually coasted” I committed to ride it. My group was excited that I was going to take the plunge. It was a pretty cool rollercoaster, but I hate the feeling when you go down the first time after gong up so high. Like one of two options is about to occur, either your stomach is going to come flying out of your throat or you yourself are about to get whipped away and flung into some spot of concrete fourteen miles away. I pretended to check my pulse when we reached what I thought was the end and told my cousin that it wasn’t so bad, but then she says, “Are you ready for the next part?” There’s a next part?! It actually turned out to be the more intense part of the rollercoaster. After getting over the initial shock of being fooled by the rollercoaster itself, I decided that I liked it.
Then they decided to go on some 50-million year old wooden rollercoaster and I again decide to go on it!! My cousin told me that it was more “mellow” than the last one. I take her word for it and we get on to the ride. As it takes off we slowly go through a wooden tunnel and I take the chance to give out one of my fake screams which is more of a high pitched, yet low volume, “ahh”. Then as we are headed up the first hill the ride suddenly stops. I remembered saying earlier that I would hate for that to happen to me on a rollercoaster. Here I was, in the moment of truth, and it wasn’t so bad. My cousin on the other hand freaked out a little bit and I was the one to calm her down. When employees starting to “sprint” towards us she started asking why they were doing that, that couldn’t be good. It’s a good thing I don’t mind being suspended in air or else I would have started to freak out with her. Then a man ran by us and I asked if they were supposed to do that. I probably didn’t make anything better for her by reminding her that was couldn’t escape, we were securely strapped into our seats, so if we were to begin to plummet to the ground below there was no way we could get away from impending doom. Maybe I didn’t really calm her down at all…then we finally started to move again and we were reaching the crest of the first hill and I was getting nervous and grabbed on to the bar in front of me, she yells out, “Are you ready for this?” I scream back, “no!” and prepare myself for a quick descent. So it was a surprise to us when we reach the top it was a small bump and we coasted around a little. We both laugh about it for the next couple of hours, me going “Are you ready for this?” and then we both either laughed or fake screamed. It was my last rollercoaster and I sat out the next two while holding everyone’s bags. I also went on a ride that spun as it slowly lifted everything into the air until the point that at times I was upside, the worst part, no seat belts. Something about centrifugal/centripetal force, I don’t really remember much from high school Physics class so I couldn’t tell you which one it was. So it held us in there. It was actually very relaxing; I didn’t laugh or cry, I just relaxed, despite the fact that I didn’t have a harness securing me in. It also cooled my sunburn and felt so good; I guess it was like being tied to blade of a fan, which must be what it would feel like.
So despite that my cousin’s are weird and we are almost complete opposites, they are a lot of fun. And today I was able to see that even in their soberness I can still make them laugh, which makes me feel pretty darn good. And once again I am shown that I expect the worse and always end up having a pretty good time.