Chapter 93
Don’t Mess With Jess

Well, Crunchy’s engagement was a prank. A prank that he didn’t tell me was over until the next day…with a text message that I didn’t get until that night. In the text he had the audacity to tell me that I fell for it. I called him on it for a good portion of the conversation but he wouldn’t let it go! So I just finally believed him. I sent him a text message saying so. But then the wheels began to turn. How could I repay him for such a great prank? I knew that saying that I was engaged wouldn’t work, at least not anytime soon. I was at work when it hit me. I could tell him that I was coming out to Utah/Idaho, possibly even for “the wedding”. I had my itinerary from buying the plane ticket to go to California so I used my HTML skills from way back in high school and changed the coding on it to look like I was going to be flying into Salt Lake International airport in April for a visit that is going to be lasting about two weeks. I sent Sweet Pea a copy too to see what she thought. She said that she was impressed with my HTML skill and that she’s glad I haven’t lost my dark touch. That’s pretty much the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me.
Speaking of sweet things…to say. The training class that I did the other day was probably my most favorite so far, of course I also had a shameless under aged flirt in my class. Also in the class was Ada Gigglesworth of Laughsalot Valley and one of Baby Face’s friends. I suppose the good thing is that Baby Face’s friend liked me right away which must mean that Baby Face had good things to say about me. I think naming the girl in the group Gigglesworth says everything you need to know. What an ego boost for me. She thought I was so funny. As for the shameless flirt, I don’t know how it started but he was good at what he does. Maybe it’s my fault it began because sometimes I get replies too quickly for my own good. Our little group was talking about mulch because in their practice order I purchase some. I told them that I used to get 30 bags until TDH told me to take it down a notch. Baby Face’s friend said that if you are going to get that many bags you might as well go to the place on Pump Road. I asked if it was the place that smelled really bad and he said yeah. Then shameless flirt says, “my dad likes that smell.” And I stopped myself from replying about that but I started to smile so he made me tell him and I said, “Must be why he likes you.” He got me back later though because I was laughing about something and said, “Okay, I’m going to act more professional now” and Shameless said, “Is that possible?” Then I tried to get a straight face, but me, trying to get a straight face when someone has challenged me is an impossible feat. It’s like in high school there was this guy who always challenged me to say, “I’ll kick you, I’ll kick you hard” without smiling, and I could never do it. When I was giving the group their store tour we went into the mop room and there was a bucket with water in it so I got ready to empty it and Shameless said, “Oh here come the guns.” And I looked up and said, “Did ya’ll get your tickets to the gun show?” and I held my arms out like a weightlifter.
Later I was talking about my age for some reason and I told everyone not to mention it because I was sensitive about it and Shameless told me that I wasn’t old, he knew because he saw my license (I have to use it to buy my fake cigarettes). So Shameless keeps saying things throughout the whole day, but he’s really respectful. Always saying “Yes, Ma’m” and “No, Ma’m”. But he would say something and I would ask him what and he would respond “nothing”. Once he mentioned that he shouldn’t repeat what he said since I was the one who decided whether or not he passed training. Therefore, that threat didn’t work to get the information out of him.
When we were all on break I mentioned how the lady from the kitchen gave me extra popcorn chicken because she likes me, I’m always nice to her. So he starts to tell me about the ladies at the kitchen in his store and how they all like him. Some of them tell him that if he were just a few years older they would date him. I asked how old the kitchen ladies were and he said that they were in their 40s. That got Gigglesworth and me talking about when older men have hit on us. Baby Face’s friend didn’t have much experience in this department either that or he was holding out on us.
After all the training was done I took everyone back upstairs so that I could fill out their forms and they could fill out the evaluations on their training. Slowly, one by one they began to leave as I had them sign their form saying they passed. Who should be last? Shameless Flirt! He had the evaluation that he filled out still in his hand while I explained my comments on the evaluation I was filling it. He didn’t do so hot on his check test but he was the best trainee I had so I mentioned something to that effect on his evaluation, and I just made sure to mention it because he was nervous about that. After that he began to open up the evaluation that he filled out about his training and said that he wanted to make sure that I saw it. On the bottom line where it said “additional comments” he wrote, “I think that Jessica is an amazing trainer.” Then he told me that he had wanted to write “better than TDH” (because TDH had trained him for courtesy clerk) but thought maybe that wasn’t appropriate. I told him that telling me meant a lot and my boss might not like it so it was a good idea, she might have thought I paid him to write it.
Before he left I told him my stock “good luck” and also said that maybe I would see him when I went to see his manager who was my manager in high school. He told me to look for him in the other department that he works in. Oh…I almost forgot, I told Baby Face’s friend to tell him (Baby Face) that I had to fail him. I told him I would tell Baby Face the same thing when I saw him. So as he was leaving he said that he would and I told him to try and add a few tears like I was really mean.