Chapter 92
Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat?

I have decided that you can’t win a conversation with me. I don’t care who you are, but if the conversation is about me, you’ll never be able to win. Last night I made the mistake of asking my mom what I should wear for my interview today. She told me that she’d been thinking about it and tried to dress me up in her clothes…I’m taller then my mom, so, these clothes wouldn’t fit. I told her I couldn’t wear her skirt because it wouldn’t fit because she is smaller then me. She said, “You don’t think I kept all my clothes from before my weight lose?” to which I said, “You think I’m fat?” Because by smaller, I meant shorter. Anyway, so I tell her I have a long black skirt and plenty of dressy sweaters which it turns out not too many of them still look good on me…they look frumpy to me now. So we are in the kitchen and she says, “and put on some make-up”. I stopped what I was doing and said, “I wear make-up!” Hello! I wear it everyday; I even make sure that my eye shadow compliments my outfit. So I said, “You don’t think I cake it on enough?” and she said, “No, you cake it on. I just mean you should wear some lipstick.” My mom’s big thing with me is that I don’t wear lipstick enough, I feel hookerish when I wear lipstick, I guess that means my mom wants me to be a hooker, I’m putting my foot down on that career change. So I said, “You think I cake on my make-up?” I quickly added that there was no way to get out of this, I caught my mother in the woman’s trap, the two edged questions that only lead you into deeper into shiz. Shove your ankle in because your foot has soaked long enough in your mouth.
So I have to wear lipstick. I told my mom that I will be wearing a dark shade of lipstick since I prefer the dark shades. Gag me with that pink crap she wears, I hate pink lipstick, whoever thought that was a good color should burn.
So this job interview that I have in an hour and half…I don’t even want it. It’s the same old thing, I’m happy with my job, I like the people I work with, but my mom is not happy with my life. So I guess if I don’t have the courage to not be happy with my existence my mom is more than happy to do the job for me. I didn’t even send them my résumé, my mom did, and she wrote the cover letter. She knows more this job then I do. It is with Sign Language Associates of Virginia, so that would be cool, just because I like sign language…but, I don’t know. I just feel like I shouldn’t be looking at other jobs right now because the trainers are already under a lot of stress and they are already losing the other part-time trainer next Friday. They’ll have to cover her store until a replacement is found which means I’ll be covering the other trainer’s stores in that time. Not a good time to leave. Then they’ll have to train her replacement and train my replacement should I leave. I wish that there was some logistical way to get a full time job and still keep this part-time job that is actually full time minus the benefits. But I don’t think the hours will work out that way. We’ll see. Heck, I probably won’t even get this job so I shouldn’t worry about it. If only I could get a full time trainer job maybe my mom would step the back up.
Last night I hung out with the other trainers. We all went to Ruby Tuesday’s for dinner and drinks. My drink being water of course. It was fun; I really enjoyed hanging out with the trainers and with the scheduler who put the whole thing together. She’s really helped me to feel more comfortable in my position as a trainer and the new girl. TDH was there, which was nice. He got a hair cut, but to avoid soundly strangely obsessed with him I didn’t mention anything. I just notice hair cuts on guys. The group slowly dwindled into the second hour of our meeting, and pretty soon there were just five of us left. TDH walked me half way to my car, isn’t that nice of him? He waited until I was ready to leave the group and walk to my car and then he walked with me. Sometimes he’s such a gentlemen. I feel bad for him though because he was telling me that because of the meeting that we had today and having Monday’s off and only doing store visits on Tuesday that the next three days would all be ten hour days…poor guy. I on the other hand had only Tuesday off and had worked yesterday morning before our meeting, so I was doing fine on time. I decided that for Christmas I am going to buy him a little red fire truck. Because when we were training people together he would always talk about this one button on the register and to help people figure out which button it was he would say, “What color is a fire engine.” And everyone would always say ‘red’ and then one day the group of trainees said, “Yellow”…which they are, but we had never realized it. I mean, I had never questioned it. Growing up you know fire trucks to be red, they are in London, and in the movies. So I am going to buy him a little Matchbox red fire engine…I’m so funny.