Chapter 91
Pardon My French

Oh shit. So I just got off of the phone with Crunchy who had some of the strangest and slightly depressing news for me. The call was random, the last time he called me was probably June or so, therefore I was not expecting a call from him and it threw me off a bit. But I went ahead and answered it and we were talking for a little bit and I asked if he still had his dog. He said that he sold her and then said, “I have something to tell you that I don’t think you’ll believe.” I said, “you’re engaged!?” and he said yes but I still didn’t believe him. So the first ten minutes of the conversation was me going on and saying congratulations and getting little tidbits about his fiancé, but the whole time I was waiting for him to say he was just kidding, something else had really happened. “Fiancé”, how crazy is that? Crunchy is getting married. It is official too, not just him and his girlfriend talking about it, but truly and honestly engaged. He told me that when he went to ask her father for permission he was scared to death and his voice kept cracking. I think I must have been in shock. I honestly think I was because when I got off the phone I was freezing and my fingers were ice cold. But that could also be because our house is freezing! Even as I write this I can’t believe he is actually engaged. He could tell I wasn’t sure if to believe him or not, and asked if I ever thought this would happen. I told him honestly that I didn’t. He asked if that was because he was so hard to put up with and I told him it was because he had such problems with commitment. I mean, he sold his dog…he didn’t want to talk about that. I told him that since he was engaged it meant that there was hope for the rest of us. He said that he hopes he’ll get a call from me with similar news someday. I told him that will only happen if I get away from these Richmond guys. He kind of understood because he had called Diva (who he knew out at school also) right before he called me and he kind of got an idea of what Richmond guys are like because there was this one really annoying guy up there and he kept bugging Diva while she was talking to him (Crunchy).
I just can’t believe it! The girl is 19 too, not that there is anything wrong with that; I hang out with 17 year olds. Before he told me her age he told me not to make fun of him for it. So I said, “As long as she’s not 16 we’re fine.” Long pause, “She’s not 16 is she?” He said no, of course not, but not much older. It’s cool. When I’m 25 and engaged to a 19 year old I don’t want to hear anything about it from him! So talking to him tonight was kind of bittersweet. I was genuinely excited for him, but at the same time a little sad about it. Not so much because I hoped anything would happen between us, because I never thought we’d be married or anything. But it was more so because he kept asking what was going on with me. Yeah, I work at my high school job, but hey I got a promotion (which is a little depressing at times) and last week I got a raise, I hang out with 17 year olds for kicks and there is no boyfriend in my foreseeable future. The guys in my single’s ward are weird to say the least, I have a chapter left in a novel and I don’t plan on finishing it anytime soon, I’ve lost five or so pounds (should be more but I lack self discipline), but hey, I got a mouse, and a job interview on Thursday, which by the way it sounds is a pretty generic job with a generic job interview and I have a feeling that they will interview everyone who applied. I’m sick of companies saying, “we read your résumé and from what we saw we’d like to interview you” and it turns out that they are just looking for entry level sales people. I don’t sell things, I can’t convince myself that I want or need something how am I suppose to convince someone else enough to purchase some product? Especially if they don’t need it…then I’m screwed because I’m going to be the one saying, “You really don’t need this, but in America it’s all about being a glutton, so maybe you don’t eat more then your fair share, you should purchase more than your fair share.” Screw you. Wow.
Anyway, I promised I would go to the wedding, which will be in April some time. I have got to get a better job so I can afford all of these trips I’ll be making. Idaho in April, Utah in June and in August I’m supposed to go to Seattle with Sweet Pea and Oreo…if they still want to. This is why I don’t want the commitment of a full time job though. They only give you a certain amount of vacation a year and I’ve already got more planned then I would get.
All I really want to do is be 17 again when I didn’t have many people to disappoint and nobody had such life changing news to call me on the phone with. Heck, even if they did at 17 I didn’t know many people out of state so they could just come and see me. I have to get up early tomorrow so I really shouldn’t be sitting here writing this but I knew if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Of course I probably still won’t be able to sleep.