Chapter 88

Pissers

So, I don’t know if I said this but Puppy Love got a girlfriend; I knew that Puppy Love and the girl he ended up dating would end up dating. You can just watch two people interact and kind of tell something is going to happen there. So the hugs stopped coming and I figured something was up. My friend finally told me that Puppy Love had a girlfriend, so for about maybe two blissful weeks I could run into him without the threat of a hug.
I’m pretty sure now however that they are no longer dating. When I went in the other night he wanted a hug and gave me more attention then he had while he had his girlfriend. I ran into him tonight too when I went into the store and he happened to come to the store at the same time as me. I accused him of stalking me, and he said something about how we keep running into each other, we haven’t really. I’ve seen him about twice this week which isn’t unusual since I’ve gone into the store twice this week. Luckily for me Baby Face also came in so I wasn’t left to have to spend some “alone” time with Puppy Love. For some reason all three of us for walked to my car, apparently I need the protection of two teenage boys on my long walk to the parking lot. While we stood outside of my car Puppy Love kept giving me hugs! At one point he came really close to me while I was reading something and I said, “Why are you touching me?” Then for some reason Puppy Love gives me a hug and Baby Face (who knows that I don’t like with Puppy Love gives me hugs) kind of made fun of it. He attacked Puppy Love saying he wanted a hug too. I think maybe it worked, but I can’t remember if that is when the hugs stopped or not. We hung out by my car for a while and Steel Eyes came over to join us and talk for a bit. Baby face and I told him that he should go ride a cart into a tree again since I missed that. He said there were too many people and too much day light. Then he said maybe he would do it Monday, and I work there Monday! Well, not Monday night, so even if Steel Eyes were to ride a cart into a tree I would sadly miss it again…oh dang it.
I can’t believe that I am actually going to be working at my store! I didn’t get all that many hours next week so I called the store last night to see if they could give me some hours. I had to talk to Jaq and he gave me 8 hours on Monday. He said something about me raising the store’s items per minute; someone at work had told me how the store had slowed down since I left. The funny thing is, I always thought I would find a faster cashier somewhere while I was training, but the more I get to look at the items per minute for other stores and cashiers the more I realize that I was pretty quick. Wow, if that’s exciting I need a new job. I don’t really know how I feel about working in my store though. I don’t know who I will be working with but hopefully there will be some fun people, I‘m nervous because what if I have gotten used to being a trainer? Then suddenly one day I’ll go back to just working in the store and what if I no longer like it? I mean, I guess it would be the most opportune time to change careers.
Hmm, change. Did I mention I have a mouse now? His name is Firecracker, but I call him Fatty so that he’ll run on his wheel more. I guess it doesn’t help that I feed him pizza crust, but the guy likes it. Well, I think he’s a guy, I haven’t checked. I don’t really touch him…he’s a mouse! I need to ask the guy who bought him whether it’s a girl or a boy so I know whether or not to make it a bachelor’s pad or a diva pad. It would be weird if it turns out that Fatty was a girl. Not only would I feel bad for calling him a fatty while feeding him pizza crust and marshmallows (along with a healthy diet of mouse food) but it would be like having a friend who went through a sex change. You knew them one way for so long and then suddenly Dwayne is Diane. That’s got to be a difficult transition, especially if you didn’t know that Dwayne wanted to be Diane, so if your mouse never actually wanted a sex change, but you had just assumed they were one thing and you called them, “him” for so long, and you made plans to buy him the Matthew McConaughey work out video for men, and to put pictures of Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, and the Olsen Twins up on his wall and then suddenly find out that “he” is a “she” and as far as you know she isn’t interested in having all those chicks on her wall, though she won’t mind the McConaughey work out video so it’s not a complete bust. It just throws your mind out of whack for a while. But I told Diva that Fatty had to be a boy because he smells bad.
Oh, the story behind how we got firecracker. So the other night three of us were home doing various things. My two roommates were upstairs in their pajamas watching Grey’s Anatomy and I was about to make some cookies for Jelly Bean. Suddenly I hear this loud popping like small fireworks going off. Well, when I panic I pretty much have a “hide” reflex rather then a fight or flight. I stood in the kitchen for a while and then I went upstairs to see if anyone else had heard the noise. They were sitting upstairs like nothing had really happened but when I asked they said that they heard it too but since they were in their pajamas they didn’t plan to go and see who had done what. Finally Jelly Bean went downstairs and I followed. I peeked out the window before she opened the door and outside was a can that had held the firecracker. I went to stand by Jelly Bean and then I noticed something moving and it was a mouse! Hanging from the doorway with duck tape and string around its tail! I got a paper bag and held it up and cut the string to let the little guy go because it was freaking him out. We finally found the guys who were playing the prank on us, they were hiding behind one of our cars. I told them I was attached to the mouse and asked if we could keep him. They said that would be all right, and you know what? I don’t know what the guys would have done to the mouse had I not asked to have him…her.
The fact that Motor Mouth really doesn’t want him makes me want him even more. I agree that he smells bad and the idea of having a mouse living here with us is…gross. I mean, he pees and poos on his wheel while he is running and then just keeps going. I won’t touch him. But Motor Mouth comes out saying in her little attitude voice, “We are not having a mouse in this house.” To which I said, “Why yes, we are.” Then she told me something about how our landlady might charge me more because I had one. I told her I would tell the landlady that I found it in the house and decided to keep it. It’s all truth anyway, I don’t have to say that two boys bought it at pet smart and it has all its shots. Tonight Jelly Bean was talking to me about it and how our landlady was at the house today and probably saw Fatty. I told her that if the landlady was going to charge me more then she had to charge Motor Mouth more too. Jelly Bean said, “But she doesn’t have a pet,” and I said, “But she has two rooms.” Jelly Bean laughed, mostly because she knows it’s true. Besides, you can’t charge me for having a little cage with a mouse in it. Now if I had a dog then I could understand, you can have security deposits for those kinds of pets.